Lately I have taken some time to reflect on a few things, one of which are emotions, and the degradatian thereof. And yes this may hence become yet again a ramble post, perhaps even a dull or possibly heavy one, we’ll see where my oft derailing train of thought takes me.
Now then, emotions are, at least to my experience, fickle things, to put basic labels on such fleeting experiences as happynes sadness or anger, seems to not do them justice, however these are the tools given to quantify the states we all at one point experience.
And by all rights that should be enough to describe them, and by no means would I change them, however lately I found a state of emotional numbness, as if the feeling had somehow degraded, disipated, lessened, or for lack of a better word , faded, I still experience, well something, but somehow even sorrow for , say as an example , a deceased acquaintance, seemed to only barely register, or perhaps that would be the wrong description, you see at the moment itself it hit quite hard, yet somehow it faded rapidly into a sort of, background feeling. This while I recall vividly the months of feeling more than a little out of sorts following a similar situation. Not that I wish to be miserable! It however is not merely sadness or sorrow that sems affected, much like a still wet inkblot the numbness spreads out over all experiences, dulling pain and pleasure alike, never initially, but over time.
Now I can only imagine that after reading that, the obvious response might seem to be, oh yes that state has a name, its called depression, or , being an adult, or even, dude its all in your head there is no such thing, youll be fine. But I am inclined to disagree , the state namely has many names, not a single name but many, like jaded, or disconected from reality, or whatever suits your fancy really, me I call it the second biggest annoyance, or emotional degradation. Something I think everyone might suffer at some point in life, sometimes even on purpose, in order to protect themselves, as a sort of mental defense barrier or coping mechanism. The thing is, it isually isn’t on purpose, and if annything it apparently causes me to get lost on a tangent.
So for now, thats all she wrote, or ranted, next time a story post,, allbeit of a new and definately different story, not related to the previous ones save for arriving in installments . Untill then .